Secret handshakes

Tom Ferrick has a wry look at Monday's story about all the "new blood" getting involved in local politics this year (see prev. here) -- that is, a little imaginary letter from the party head welcoming the new blood into the old game. A couple of snippets:

I will not countenance committee people drawing up their own private-label ballots. You must support the party-endorsed candidate, even if it's Attila the Hun. I may wink if your ward leader wants to add or subtract a name or two, but not you. The right to make a little on the side is strictly limited to the cardinals. [In a Catholic Church metaphor.]
. . .
I encourage you to attend the post-May 16 ward meeting where ward leaders are elected. The time, date and place of these meetings are kept secret, but I am sure your ward leader will be happy to tell you where to go.

Heh, indeed. You'd think that some of this stuff was more humorous than it is; nobody but nobody can tell me whether my planned vacation might conflict with the post-election ward committee meeting. Heck, it's three weeks before the election and I have yet to get a copy of the ballot for my Division. Arcane rites indeed...